Closing.

Well it looks like oh-eight is just about over. I can't say that this year wasn't a struggle, because it truly was. I lost my cousin and then I lost my grandpa only eight months later. The end of my senior year was crap, I dug myself into a hole and made it so hard for myself to climb out. I let myself get into an extremely unstable relationship, and it ended, horribly. I had rumors spread about me, and lost my parents trust. I have no one to blame for my mistakes but myself, and I take full responsibility. I may have made a complete mess of my life, but I sure as hell had a heck of a ride.

The end of this year is ending more pleasing than I thought. I can only hope it is a glimpse into a brighter year ahead. I love life at the moment, and I always say that right before I start hating it again. I'm hoping this time its as permanent as possible, because I can't lose this feeling, not this time. So I will be starting the new year with my head up and my heart out, keeping in mind that it could be the greatest year of them all.

New Years Resolution: Live, and let live.

Out.

Merry Christmas!

I am coming to you LIVE via my new Dell laptop. XPS M1330. Its pretty dope. I also got a red Sony CyberShot with 10.1 megapixels. Along with clothes and a pair of cute black boots. This Christmas has been the best by far! Not only are my gifts fantastic, but so are the people in my life. Lets just hope this guy doesn't go astray again. I care about him too much to let him go for the third time. Sheesh. That sounds terrible doesn't it? Oh well, I like him ALOT, this time it will work, it has to. Anyway, Merry Christmas to all! Much love. Peace.

Stalker.

I fell for him.

I'm not good at keeping myself from guys.

Help?

;]

Fakes.

Screw guys, period.
I hate falling for them.
I hate believing them.
I hate losing them.

What am I left with in the end?
Nothing but myself, again.

Always think they're different.
Then they prove me wrong.

I've been fooled long enough.
Most recent?
He's going to regret it.
THE MOST.

Mostly Hated On.
You titled that album correctly.
Watch your back.
Promise, not a threat.

Out.

Irritated.

Amazing? He is.

Honestly though?
This is the same fight.
For the third time!

Grow up.
Please?

I need you to.
You need you to.
Then everything will be fine.

Ugh.
I'm the younger one?
This relationship is too much.
I won't give up though.
Not this easily.

It will work.
Promise.

Twisted.

Second year of high school started off just a mystery.
Never did I think I could go down in history.
Maybe I did, and well, maybe I didn't.
But the boys were off me like I was forbidden.
I wasnt let down though, didn't even care.
Already knew none of these other girls could even compare.
To me, yeah, from the start I was the best.
No one else mattered, I was already so blessed.
With a family that loved me, real friends that did too.
But I had a feeling there was somethin' I had to do.
Third year of high school I was facing this choice.
Do what others were doin', or hear my own voice.
I wouldnt listen though, couldn't hear myself.
So i bottled up my modesty, hid it on a shelf.
I became this girl I, myself, didnt even know.
I acted so different, even put on a show.
Was just playing the boys, this way and that.
Menacing like katana from mortal combat.
I cant lie no more, life seemed to be just a game.
Girls hated, grades dropped, it became such a shame.
Couldnt stand to look at myself in the mirror anymore.
I felt so wrong, like I was rotten, down to the core.
I knew right then, it was time to change my evil ways.
But it was a struggle to live down my player days.
Fourth year of high school I tried to settle down.
But the rumors had spread, like I'd really gotten around.
Mindless flirting, hitting up on boys all of the time.
I never did much more, but it was treated like a crime.
There was no truth in the lies that were being told.
But there was no sense in stopping it, the story was sold.
I thought I finally found love, but he was just a tease.
I became forbidden again, an untouchable disease.
So the rumors continued to just keep on growing.
Kind of like these rhymes seem to keep on flowing.
And now im out of high school, trying to move on.
Waiting for my one true breakthrough light of dawn.
Because the people that talk about me, never want to stop.
Doesnt matter though, one day, I'll be back on top.
I got my education to focus on now, thats a fact.
By the time im done, everything else becomes abstract.
Go on and believe what everyone is trying to say.
Its not going to ruin my life, hell, not even my day.
Tell me how much you hate me, it wont hurt one bit.
Because I know real love, I've already got it.
Jesus died for me, he died for the sins ive committed.
And I'll spare you the details ive already ommitted.
I dont need you, I dont need anyone, when I've already got Him.
Just look up, close my eyes and pray when life gets grim.
I guess I'm finally through, thats all I had to say.
No matter what I've done, I have changed my ways.

081120081005

[[this is a BK ORIGINAL! steal it without credit and die!]]

Process.

I'm going to be attending San Juaquin Valley College. Excited? Just a bit. I'm so ready for my summer to be over. It's been far too long, I miss school. I don't start until September 2nd though. *Sigh* Life has been great to me as of late. I started attending church as regularly as possible. I still can't say I have that perfect one-on-one relationship with God, but I'll get there. It's been a struggle but I know it will all be worth it.

As for the guys, Ha! I am talking to someone special, but I'm not about to jinx it. We'll see how it goes. It started off great, then shattered a bit, but he apologized, and I'm grateful. The fact that he knows he was wrong and was able to take responsibility for that, grabbed my attention no doubt. I feel like when I'm around him I can't help but smile to my full extent, not really knowing why. I could just be me and he accepts that, and I don't have to hide. Everyone always judged me based on what I wear and what they've heard. He may have heard the rumors, but he's willing to look passed all that and grasp my mentality. I can't say he's the one, and I can't say he's perfect, but I can damn well say that I like him alot, and I hope nothing gets in the way. =D

So far today I have done, absolutely nothing. I've been taking care of my brother and cousin, sitting in the living room watching Hannah Montana and Wizards of Waverly Place. I was hoping for some Spongebob but I guess they weren't in the mood for that this morning. Later on I have to go to Visalia to take my moms car in to get fixed. Then I'm probably going to buy a shirt that I've been wanting, we'll see. Sleepover at Dree's tonight! Hopefully some hold'em too. JUST FOR FUN! Yeah, we don't gamble, we're not all hardcore like that. Haha! Anyway, it's shower time. Toodles!

Wow.

It's been awhile huh?

I'm still alive.

Back on MySpace.

Living/Loving Life.

J&B<3

Court.

Sucks ass! I woke up at like seven, got to the juvenile center at like eight. I actually didn't get into the courtroom until almost eleven! I was in the waiting room with my dad all freaken tired, it was horrible. I was so scared when I was in front of the judge. She was like, "How do you plea?" In a tiny voice I responded, "Um, guilty, your honor." I was so nervous. My fine came out to be $396 but she gave me a project to do by August 15th and lowered it by $180, so my fine was $216. My project is to interview a C.H.P about the dangers of speeding, and write a three page essay on it. Three effing pages! Afterwards, my dad and I had lunch at Red Robbin. Yum! He bought me three shirts at PacSun too. Then we went to San Juaquin Valley College to get all my stuff together, hopefully I start there in September. Uhh yeah, I'm hecka bored, and Dree and I are going to the movies at like six, so peace out!

Home Alone.

Saturday morning [[yesterday]] my parents, grandparents, and brother took off to Long Beach. Yeah, I was supposed to go, but there was no room for me, and I wasn't going to take my own car with gas being so ridiculously priced. Anyway, all was well, then my mom calls. Okay, and she called me at eight people. She told me to have a party. I was like, "Uh, I hate parties, why should I?" Then she goes, "I just don't want the house to be lonely." Like the house cares? Well I don't like being alone either, so I decided, what the heck. Dree and I started texting and calling people to come over. The whole time I was like, "Why am I doing this? I don't even like parties." I know, I'm stupid. Then apparently everyone hates me because a friend of mine calls and says, "Hey, well I was inviting people to your place and everyone is kind of just confused that you would be having a party." So I was like, "Well just forget it then, tell everyone nevermind. I have enough people here I don't care." That is how my party turned into a kickback, and my weird ass friends entertaining themselves with the animals on my street. Haha! It was pretty funny, I went outside to the front with everyone and they were like, trippin' out on a star that apparently disappeared a second before I went outside, then it came back. Yeah, everyone left around twelve-thirty because there was like two other parties in Cutler, and a Sweet Sixteen in Dinuba. I didn't care because I still had Dree, Jose, Jackie, and Steven. We watched V for Vendetta until it was like, almost two. Then my parents called and said they were in Tulare. So they all left, I took Dree home, then went to Burger King. Haha! Okay okay, I was totally starving, gosh. Michael Huerta was driving by me on the way back to Orosi and I was just totally trippin' out on him, or his car, I don't know. I swear I thought I seen someone in his passenger seat, then I looked again and he was alone, but yeah, oh well.

This morning was funny though. I guess somebody didn't throw out their alcoholic beverage bottle, and left it in my gutter! My mom ran over it this morning and she was like, "One of your friends left their beer bottle in the gutter and I ran over it." So I was like, "Good job, mom. It wasn't mine, and don't bother asking whos it was because I don't know. I was inside most of the time." She's weird. Anyway, this is a super long post, and I hate posting super long. Time to get ready for work, toodles!

Party.

Yeah, I don't usually go to parties, but I did today, just to see my old peeps from Orosi High. It was chill, seeing everyone I hadn't seen in awhile, all my friends I would have graduated with, had I stayed. Everyone was in the party scene, and me, not enjoying parties anymore, felt like an outcast. I just got home and I'm online talking to Anali, one of my best friends. I feel better now that I'm home, pretty lame. Well my mom just walked in the front door, yeah, she got home later than me. She is officially cooler than me, haha! Anyway, work was interesting today. Heard some stuff I was not pleased with. Did something I'm not pleased about. Went to Anali's after work to go eat dinner, tamales, YUM! I hope her mom makes some chicken enchiladas soon, I love those things. Mmmm. Uhh. I'm bored so yeah, gonna go now. Night!

Summer?

So this is it? I guess so. I've been working full time at work, which keeps me occupied. I don't start school until September 2nd, giving me a long summer ahead of me. I'm actually excited to start college. I'm not going to lie, it hasn't really hit me yet, that I'm not going back to the high school. I still feel like something needs to be done before I start college, and I think I know what it is. It might take some time to accomplish it, but it will be accomplished, no doubt about it. Today is my day off this week, as well as Friday and Saturday. Today I went to the bank to try and open account, but since I'm not eighteen yet, I have to wait for the bank managers approval. Lame. I guess I'm going back tomorrow with my mom. Dree and I went to my aunts shop today, Giselle cut Dree's hair and I love it! I need a hair cut soon, but I love long hair, and I want it! Ugh! I don't know what I'm going to do. Let it grow probably, just add some layers to the top, or something. Um. Well this weekend I might be heading to Long Beach, woo! I hope so, but then again, gas money. I hate gas prices. I swear dude, it's freaken ridiculous. Oh well, that's life, I'll live. Anyway, my cousin is having a dinner thing today for his "promotion" not graduation, Orosi is so weird now. I mean, why aren't the eighth graders graduating? And who the hell came up with this promotion deal? Sounds dumb to me. I'm out though. Byeeee.

Wow.

After work last night I went to Dinuba to hang out with a friend that I hadn't really talked to in awhile. Nobody knows who I'm talking about, because it's someone I have never mentioned before, and I didn't tell anyone I was going to go meet up with him. Man, I really missed this guy, no joke. We used to be something like best friends, I had a crush on him before, but I was somewhat embarassed about it. Anyway, overall, it was a cute night. Then I had to go to WalMart for my mom and Burger King for my dad. Haha! Then I went cruising alone, just thought about stuff. Got home around midnight, and layed in bed for a bit before knocking out. Yup. That was how my Sunday ended, and now I have to finish getting for work, I start at eleven. Bye.

Quickness.

Yesterday was pretty awesome. I worked nine-to-three, but it was pretty chill, I love my job. Afterwards, I went to Visalia with my aunt, she bought my little cousin a Roxy bikini, it's so adorable. Then we had sushi, YUM! I had a softball game at eight, we were so dope! I never seen our team play so incredibly well! I was so excited! I love softball now, you have no idea. We were head to head with the other team, and had to play an extra inning. OMG! I totally twisted my left ankle at first base, and I don't even care! Then me and Dree went to Ernests party at the Holiday Inn. It was pretty chill getting to see everyone. Julian is hilarious people, if you didn't know that, now you do. He's pretty weird though. Anyway, it's his birthday today, special shout out to him and my beautiful Kaeli! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! They both turned eighteen today, how exciting. Well, I must get going now. By the way, I deleted my MySpace [[so did Dree]]. Peace out!

Fiction.

It was the end of January in oh-seven, and the cold was bitter. Still, I waited for him on the sidewalk in front of my former best friend's house. I was scared, excited, and nauseous all at the same time. Never had I been alone with him, never had I given it much thought. Here I was though, at two in the morning, waiting for him. He walked in the blistering cold for me, but it was only a few blocks. I seen him making his way towards me, in short, slow strides. I wished he would walk faster. He was only ten feet away from me, I could see his face in the street light. His smile was returned by an even larger one, upon my face. We didn't have to say anything, we both knew what we were waiting for. As soon as I was in reach, he put his arms around me, and brought his lips slowly to mine. He planted a hundred soft pecks, or at least thats how many it felt like. It was cute, more subtle than I expected from him. He grabbed my hand and we started to take a walk down the street. After a few exchanged words, he turned me towards him once more. This time, his kiss wasn't as subtle. It seemed as though he were hungry for me, craving this moment, I returned passion. Why had I waited so long for this? I pushed him away for over a year, claiming to only want to be friends, who was I kidding? This is what I wanted, what I always wanted. It seemed as though years had flown by, and we pulled apart, only to embrace in a hug. He lifted my chin to his face, "I've always wanted you." That was all he said, and it was enough. He gave my lips one last peck, took my hand in his, and we continued our walk in the night...

Just thought I would allow you guys into my head for once. Sounds made up, right? It's not. One of my more favorable memories of this guy that I never should have let go of. He will be mine again though, you can all bet on that. Anyway, I work tomorrow at three. Dree and I are going to Visalia before I work, to have a picnic, YAY! So yeah, byeeee!

I Luv Your Boy.

I want him back. That's all I have to say. I've wanted him since before I was friends with you, so I don't care about sparing your feelings anymore. He will be mine, whether your heart gets crushed in the process or not. I'm tired of pretending I don't know what I want, because it has always been him. Since the first day he and I locked eyes, I knew it meant something. From now on, my goal is to get him back. Regardless of what stands in my way, I will prevail, I always do.

Moving on. Sunday was my graduation party. It was dope. I had a Spider-Man cake, be jealous suckas! Steven and Mario came over for a bit, but they were lame and quiet. I felt like a fatass because them, plus Dree and Matt, were in my room chilling with me, and I was the only one eating cake and ice cream! Blah! It was cool though. I made some monies! Which I always love, I mean, enjoy. Must not be greedy here, one of those seven deadly sins. Eh, but so is lust, screw 'em all! Haha!

Tomorrow, Dree and I are supposed to hit up the theatre for a movie, ohhhh yeah. I love having days off work. Hit me up if you want peoples! I'm on Yahoo!

bk_skellington

You can ask for my number there if you want, and maybe we could chill sometime. Yee! Peace out!

Graduation.

Now, I am officially a graduate of 2008! Yay me! I didn't cry at graduation though, suprisingly. Usually I'm more of the emotional one, always teary eyed, but this week has changed me slightly. It may seem weird, but enough has happened in the past week to make me feel like I've become a stronger person. My heart is no longer worn on my sleeve, and I'm proud of myself. Am I becoming a different person? Maybe. A more stable person though, that's for sure.

Sober Grad, I had a blast. It started off extremely boring, I'm not going to lie. I started hanging out with Dustin though, which is pretty awkward. We've always had the on again off again type of friendship, and the last friendship seemed like it would be the last. We seen past our differences though, and maybe just for the night. We played basketball [[it was more like me just getting balls and him shooting hoops]], hung out and talked, and played in the bounce arena thing. It was overall, a really cute night. I guess I really missed him, even though there were times I wanted to tear his head off before.

So high school is really over for me. Time to move on to bigger and better things. I don't know where life will take me, or who will find themselves in my path along the way, but I'm excited. We'll see how many of my friends stay in touch, I know I'll miss every single one of them. I'm out.

Twilight.

So I just watched the trailer for the Twilight movie [[Dec. 12]], and I'm excited! I actually thought that Robert Pattinson [[Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire]] was a horrible choice for Edward, I would have preferred Steven Strait, but after watching the trailer, Robert is pretty sexy. By the way, Kellen Lutz, he's playing Emmett, WOW! He is what I call, um, I actually have no words to describe how good looking he is. Anyway, not much to say about myself today. Lost one softball game, won the next. We are now in a three-way tie for first! Yay Queens! Well, enjoy the Twilight trailer. Peace!

GradNite!

It was freaken awesome! Okay so we left at five and got in around eleven-thirty, and all the rides were closed. I was like "Wtf bitches? Open the rides!" Nah, but oh em gee dude! Space Mountain was packed and our group [[of about 18-20 people]] totally cut everyone to get to the front. I had a blast, but then we waited like an hour for Indiana Jones. Then Krystal, Becca and I got hungry so we went to eat. We chilled and walked through shops. Went and got on Haunted Mansion. Looked for the Gold Rush ride, and got lost. Met up with Ashlie. Went on the Gold Rush ride. Walked around. Krystal and I took off alone. We got on Pirates of the Caribbean. Went shopping, and went back to the bus.

I didn't get tired the whole time we were there, I was totally hyped up on Java Monster. I had two cans, which is four servings, and I haven't had a real crash yet. I was in and out of sleep on Albert, it was not that comfortable, I'm not going to lie. Then my jeans started cutting off my blood circulation, and I wanted to change into my shorts. I was not going to change in that tiny bathroom because:
1. It is so small and the bus was shaking so bad, I probably would have fell into the toilet, and
2. My jeans were soooo extremely tight that I was going to need some help out.
So I'm sitting there under Henry's XXL polo shirt, and unbottoning/unzipping, and I was stuck! I was like, "Henry, pull off my pants for me." Then he helped me out of my pants, Ha! ;]

We got back to the high school like ten minutes before lunch, and I came home, and I'm still home, and I'm bored. Face-off tonight, most likely, we'll see.

I LOVE HANADI!

The end.

Softball.

I had so much fun at my games today! We totally rocked on the first team we played, but got slaughtered by the second. It's okay because we're 6-2 right now, which is good. I pulled a muscle in my left thigh, it hurt so bad I cried and got pulled out that inning, but I didn't care because I went back out there and played like a champ. Yay me! After the games Dree and I went to Starbucks, yummy. Then we went to Wal-Mart because she needed diapers for her nephew, but they didn't have his size. [[Good job Neeko.. haha!]] Then I went to Brandon's to discuss my car, then I went home. Now I'm here. Tired. Goodnight.

I LOVE HANADI! <3

Beat Down.

I'm currently passing both my classes, I should be graduating. GradNite is on Thursday and I'm excited, Disneyland is so dope! I really have nothing to say tonight. I'm talking to Hanadi on messenger and I've missed her so much, I'm just happy right now. Bye!

Idk.

Honestly, what the heck dude? I woke up all late today, and okay I freaken got bit by something on my EYELID and it looks puffy on the corner. Not trippin' though. I have a softball game tonight at eight, hopefully we win, I'm pretty excited. I'll most likely head out to the carnival afterwards. Yee. I've been craving some funnel cake for some reason. Nothing sounds better than a deep fried doughnut right now, haha! Um, so this morning my dad took my car to get an alarm, finally. So kudos to my dad for taking it in for me while I was knocked out. Also kudos to myself for actually saving money to do that, as well as putting in new back lights and my front corner lights. I need new headlights though, the corner lights look too new for them, blah. Time to start putting money away on the side again. Anyway, there are like nine actual school days left for me, it's freaken crazy. I'm so happy I'm going to graduate. I can't believe how hard this last semester was for me, I should have just listened from the beginning. For those of you that don't know, I was failing english and government for a few months, it sucked! I had to work my ass off this past month to bring my grades up to passing. I made it hard for myself by slacking off in the beginning, but you know what? I still made it baby! I'm really anxious for GradNite, it's going to be insane. Well I'm off to make some brownies, I've been craving them since I got up. [[I also need to put more ice on my stupid puffy eyelid.]] Peace out nukkas.

Today Sucks.

I'm sad because Neeko is currently upset with me. *Edit: Neeko is no longer of ANY importance in my life. [[05/19/2008]]* I feel like I'm at a total downfall, and I'm not sure why. Can I please just get through my last two weeks of high school, graduate, and live life? Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing with my life right now, I feel so much pressure from everyone around me. I miss people I shouldn't be missing, and I'm probably digging my own grave because of the shit I recently got myself into. I'm done. I'm done being this irresponsible and wreckless girl that I suddenly became overnight. One week being someone else is enough to make me hurl. How did I let myself get so weak as to conform to something I was completely against, only two weeks ago? Damn. Talk about being a hypocrite. I guess we all make mistakes and learn, time to get back to myself. Ignore my previous entry, that girl has left. Goodnight!

Monotonous

Today is boring. I should be writing my process essay right now, it's due tomorrow. Ugh! I can't think. Love me! I need to get faded, where's my cell? I'm texting Mario. Peace out!

Major Updatage.

Last night Adam raced my car against Jose's. Mine totally won by three cars. Adam must teach me to race like he does. I was so excited. Yay! By the way, I love Bob Marley. Don't Worry, Be Happy. Smoke herb. Bye!

Day off work.

So I had a day off work on Saturday, it felt so good. I slept in, took a shower, and went to wash my car. Woohoo! It was fun, Dree and I got squirt in the face with the foaming brush. Haha! My stupid windshield didn't even get cleaned all the way because when I let Nick borrow my car for prom, he drove through a massive cloud of bugs and my windshield has looked disgusting since then. I was trying to scrub all crazy, but there were still a bit splattered after the rinse. Eeyeeww.

I had a softball game in Selma, it was amazing! I can't believe I'm admitting that, because I am so not the sports playing girl, but we KICKED ASS! I think it was my socks, yup yup. Now our team is 3-1. [[For those of you that don't know, that means we've won 3 and lost 1]] It was exciting, I'm not going to lie. Afterwards we ate at Pizza Hut, it was so delicious! It didn't beat Me-N-Eds, but it was pretty damn good.

Around ten-thirty, Dree and I hit up Dinuba. We went to pick up Tommy and Jose to go to Starbucks. Then we hit up Wal-Mart for toilet paper, but I swear it was for Dree's sister. Haha! Overall, very cute/great day off work. I was supposed to go meet up with my friend Neeko at the park in the afternoon, but the plan didn't work out so well. Hopefully we get to chill soon, he is the bomb diggity! [[Am I a dork or what?]] Um, church in seven hours, I'm gonna knock out. Peace!

Drive.

Work at nine. Lunch at one. Went to Monicas. Went back to work. Off at seven. Pick up Monica at Anthony's. Go to Bill and Marthas. Have dinner. Pick up Steven at Nathan's. Take him to get his shoes at Anthony's dad's house. Take Monica to pick up Ginger at her mom's house in Reedley. Go to Wal-Mart. See Jeff, and his car get kicked [[random]]. Take Monica and Steven home. Yeah. I just drove alot today. Night beezies.

Neon.

So today I woke up at nine in the morning. My parents made me go with them to Fresno. Then we went to Old Town Clovis, or something like that. I guess my mom is going to get one of those scooter things for work, because it gets like 85 miles a gallon. I don't even care, I just want a streetbike, but that isn't going to happen. We went to the mall afterwards and I got some neon blue skinni jeans, I love them! I also got some regular skinni jeans, they're pretty cute too. Work was pretty chill, until I found out Jose got a red hatchback si, just like mine, with gsr fatties and everything. I totally want to kill him, no joke. I can't say he's even my friend anymore, that's how mad I am, and that's how much my car means to me. Ugh! Screw this, I'm buying an Evo....

Blah.

School sucked, as usual. One week back and I want to quit. Today was dramatic though. I went with Monica to get her extensions put in, then we went to wash my car. Tomorrow we're supposed to go to some truck show, hopefully I can. On my way home from her house though, I had to call Chito because I've been hearing some unpleasant stuff. I won't go into detail or anything, but let's just say, it didn't make anything better. Work was busy, but it felt slow. I love the job, don't get me wrong. It's totally kick back and stuff, but sometimes I just want to work somewhere else. Eh. After work I went to Monica's to drop off my blue shirt, she's borrowing it for tomorrow. Anyway, now I'm home and very hungry. I'm out.

Incredible.

Monica and I headed out to Fresno today. Yee! It was dope, I missed Shaw Ave on the freeway, so I had to take the next exit, turn around, get back on the freeway then get on Shaw. I'm an idiot, we all know that already. It was fun though, I bought some purple shorts at PacSun. There weren't many hott guys though, I was a bit disappointed. Oh well. I love you, don't ever fucken question that. I swear that song is totally just stuck in my head right now. Totally directed at a certain someone that probably will never care again. *sigh* Why is it that he hurts me over and over and I can't let go? I mean, I hurt him one time and he's set on never forgiving me for the rest of my life. Harsh right? I don't understand how he can love me one day and the next, he's moved on. Love isn't that simple. I loved him and he totally faked me out the whole time. Must I be so gullible? After half a year of heartbreak, you would think I would give up. Anyway, Jabbawockeez won Americas Best Dance Crew! I knew they would. Yipee! Before I forget, theres this certain little girl that better be watching her steps. I hear that she says one more thing about me, shes going down. I swear it doesn't matter to me how old she is, I will beat her ass. Ugh! I just can't wait for Saturday, I miss my buddy Anthony and he's freaken eighteen! [[Since Tuesday]] Well I'm thirsty, byeeee.

Awkward.

I went to Monica's at noon today, pretty cool. We chilled for a bit, took Julie to school, and got lunch for Steven because he was working. Um. I did her hair, kind of bleached some color out of her bangs, it looks cute. Oh! I played with her snake, it was awesome, I totally want it. Dree and I had Starbucks around seven, it was good. Then we were driving downtown Dinuba and seen Raul's car at Porgy's house. We stopped by to say hello, he's hella chill. OMG. Then we passed by Freddie's and all I have to say is, he was right about being scared of me, he should be terrified. Little does anyone know how truly crazy I am. Rawr! So tomorrow I have another day off, probably going to spend it with Monica once again. Yay! I still hate school, and I miss Hanadi. Toodles.

Amazing.

Today was incredible. I got asked to prom by Aaron. He put little post-it notes all over the hood and windshield of my car that said "Prom?" and "Will you go to prom with me?" It was so cute! Then I had lunch at Subway with Jacee, and stupid me left my car keys locked in my car. So I had to call Chito to pick me up and take me home for my spare. I felt like an idiot. At like two I went to Monica's and we went to Visalia to buy mice for her python. Fun! I made it back to work, but laaaate. It's cool, I don't work again 'til Friday. Tomorrow Monica and I are going to Visalia to shop and then I'm going to do her hair too, hopefully. It's going to be dope. Then Starbucks with Dree at seven! YAY! I love my bestie. Okay, night [[whoever reads this]], peace!

Spring Break.

Is officially over. School tomorrow is going to suck. I woke up late today and went to work at three. Nothing exciting to write about. My life is wack. I'm giving up on the boy I've been in love with for the past year. The pain isn't worth it anymore. I hate school. I can't wait to graduate. The end.

Ouch.

I woke up this morning with a fever, sore throat, and slightly stuffy nose. Ugh. It was lame, my dad gave me some medicine before he went to church with the rest of my family, and sent me back to bed. I woke up around noon, took a quick shower and headed to Cutler to Bill and Martha's [[relatives]] house. Ate some lunch and took the CRF100 out for a ride. Don't get me wrong, I love the bike, but damn I wish it were easier to ride. I was so scared everytime I turned, and my arms got sore for some reason. It was fun though, I have to admit. Well I had work today and it was boring, I swear. I don't understand why we were open all day on Easter, it was insanely slow after four o'clock. Anyway, now I'm home, and still bored. I finally downloaded Yahooo! Messenger again, so hit me up! Time for MySpace, byeeee.

Stoked.

Today was crazy. This morning Adriana [[Dree]] and I went to Dinuba to deposit money at the bank. Then we drove around for awhile, cruised the Dinuba/Cutler/Orosi areas. We get back to my house and my dad is hungry, no suprise there. He gives me cash and sends me and Dree to McDonalds. As we are walking out of McDonalds, Dree spills soda on herself and the floor. *blushes* When we get back to my house, my mom is totally freaking out, apparently there was a shooting on my street. Some white accord and some other red car were shooting at each other, crazy. We eat and head out to Visalia at two, to go check out the dirtbikes again. My dad decides to get the bike today, so score, the CRF100 is officially mine! Then I spend like $300 on gear: red Fox helmet, red Fox gloves, and a red Fox riding shirt. Anyway, around three and four, Dree gets calls from her sisters, apparently some idiot[s] messed with her MySpace and said she was in a car accident and died. At four-thirty Chito calls me, and asks who I am [[ME, duh!]] because he seen me driving in the morning with Dree, and I guess he assumed I was with her in her fatal car accident [[also assuming I must have been driving and crashed, thanks buddy, I'm not that wreckless]]. Well, I'm pretty much tired now. I rode my bike down the street earlier, it was great, I love my new baby. I'm out though. Peace.

Stunned.

My dad wakes me up super early this morning to go to Visalia. SWAP MEET. Ugh. I swear, it was the lamest ever, the only thing I enjoyed was seeing a cute, little, white bunny. Aww. Afterwards we have breakfast at Dennys, 10am. Mmmm delicious, let me tell you, it was just, yummy. Anyway, we go check out the Honda/Suzuki dealer, and what a suprise! My dad is going to buy be a dirtbike. That's right, a Honda CRF100. I wanted a street bike [[Honda 1000RR to be exact]], but my daddy said no. *pout* So I showed him a 600RR and he said, maybe. I'm stoked about that. I bought a cute, pink tank top at Pacsun, and got an application. Woo! Even though my dad said it's pointless, because the gas prices and all, my job is perfectly fine. I guess it will do for now. We also visited the Verizon store, hopefully I will be getting a new phone in a few weeks. OH! Let me tell you about Americas Best Dance Crew! I picked up my cousin Jacee and brought her over so we could watch the show together, like a cute family thing. We even ordered pizza and had root beer, then I made oreo pudding. Mmmm. Kaba Modern went home! I couldn't believe it, I wanted Status Quo to go home, but apparently some idiots are voting for them and they got the number one spot. Lame! I can't wait for the final episode next week, my babies JabbaWockeez better win! Well I just got home about twenty minutes ago. I was kickin' it with my bestie, Dree! We were at Jacob's pad for a bit, but I had to split, because I'm still kind of grounded. Wish I could have stayed and mingled, I bet some cute guys are there now, and I'm totally missing out. *sigh* I'm off to watch some YouTube, see ya!

Fractured.

So today went, well. I woke up around noon, took a quick shower before getting online and chatting it up with a few friends. Finally got around to watching Good Luck Chuck, which I loved, by the way. Those two, Jessica Alba and Dane Cook, are a couple of my favorite celebrities. So then I had work at three, lame, I know. I get a call around eight, and I'm thinking, "What the heck? Who calls me at work?" Turns out it's my dad, he tells me that they won't be home when I get off work because my brother broke his wrist. You might be wondering, "Hm? How did your ten year old brother break his wrist?" Let me tell you, he fell off his skateboard. Part of me is sad that he got hurt, yet proud, yes I said it, proud. I'm weird, I know. Anyway, now I'm home and very bored. Thanks to Kayla [[shout out]] I now have a blogger thing, whatever. Still, all my featured work will be on my myspace blog, so yeah. Peace out!