Rain.

I am not feelin' this rainy season whatsoever. It's bringing me lower than I already feel. What the heck man? Bring on the heat waves. I can't wait to wear my tank tops and shorts again. I can't wait to have my one week summer break and go to the beach. I just want to get away from this coldness, I hate it!

On another note, I'm discovering more and more about myself everyday. Awkward much? Ha! Yeah, I'm trying to be happy about everything, because you know, it's really not that hard at all. If you want to be happy, then just smile and be happy. I always thought I needed someone else to make me smile, but no, it's all good.

School is getting tougher, but it's going to all be worth it in one more year. I'll only be nineteen and banking it! Save up, pay off all those loans, then save up for a house. I'm hoping to have one by the end of next year. I'm thinking Kingsburg for now. My ultimate goal is to go coastal of course, or even LA. We'll see I guess.

"I'ma let you fly, and pray you'll come back to me. 'Cause I do believe if I let you fly and you fly back, then it was meant to be. So fly."

I miss him. *sigh*

Lates.

I Hate..

Feeling like this, worthless, hopeless. What happened to the me that said I would stay positive through my hardships? Why does life have to throw difficult challenges at me, testing my strength? Why can't everything just be simple?

I vow to be a stronger person. I promise myself not to break down or give in to temptations, the ones I know I will have to face. No more letting other people have any say in what I do with my life. I live how I want, regardless of who I crush to succeed.

I'm not the life of the party. I'm not the fun drunk or the one to light up with. I don't know, whatever you people call it these days. I'm independent. I'm smart. I'm beautiful. I'm strong. I don't need a guy by my side to be worth something. I'm respectable when you know the real me. Listen to the rumors and you're lost.

Sorry if you think I'm boring. Sorry if you think I need to let loose. Sorry if you thing I need to get out more. That isn't my scene and it just isn't me. I don't care if you think I'm too young to be throwing away my adolescence. I have more important stuff to deal with.

I've been causing myself to suffer for over a week, and for what? For someone who doesn't have faith in me? For someone who judges me? For someone that disregards my emotions? It ends tonight.

Peace!

Vacation Time.

Heading to Disneyland in six hours.
Just thought I'd point it out.
Pictures to follow!
Tuesday.

Bye.